The United States Agency for International Development (USAID) is supposed to be America’s benevolent hand, spreading democracy, humanitarian aid, and economic development across the globe. In reality, it’s more like a taxpayer-funded money cannon, firing stacks of cash at anything that makes a bureaucrat feel good inside. Enter the Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE)—the investigative team led by Elon Musk, which has yanked back the curtain on this bureaucratic Burning Man festival of waste.

Here’s a tour of the most ridiculous, outrageous, and downright absurd ways USAID is lighting your hard-earned money on fire.

1. Gender Politics, But Make It Foreign Aid ($1.5M+ Down the Drain)

USAID decided the best way to help Serbia was to spend $1.5 million pushing “diversity, equity, and inclusion” in workplaces[1][2]. Because when people in Belgrade think of critical aid, they’re definitely worried about corporate HR training sessions.

Meanwhile, Colombia got $47,000 for a transgender opera, and Peru scored $32,000 for a transgender comic book[1][3]. Imagine explaining that to the average taxpayer: “Sorry about your skyrocketing grocery bill, but at least we funded progressive theater in South America.”

2. Sesame Street, But Make It Geopolitical ($20M Flush)

USAID spent $20 million creating an Iraqi version of Sesame Street, Ahlan Simsim Iraq, to “promote mutual understanding” across sectarian lines[2][3]. Because obviously, centuries of regional conflict will be solved by a Muppet telling kids to be nice to each other. As one DOGE analyst quipped, “Big Bird won’t rebuild Mosul.”

3. Electric Cars, But For… Art Installations? ($2.5M in Vietnam)

Instead of spending money on, say, food or medicine, USAID blew $2.5 million turning electric vehicles into mobile art installations in Vietnam[1][4]. That’s right—some bureaucrat thought the best way to help a developing country was to convert cars into roving art galleries. Because nothing says economic development like interpretive dance on wheels.

4. The Taliban’s Favorite Government Grant ($100M+ Per Year to Afghan Poppy Fields)

USAID is very committed to economic development—so much so that they spent over $100 million a year helping Taliban-controlled poppy farms flourish[1][3]. They called it “agricultural assistance,” but the reality is they literally funded irrigation canals, fertilizers, and farming equipment—all of which made Taliban-run heroin operations more efficient.

That’s right, taxpayers. While the government was warning you about the opioid crisis, it was also bankrolling the heroin trade.

5. Hamas Thanks You for Your Generous Donation ($Hundreds of Thousands in Gaza)

USAID also sent hundreds of thousands of dollars to a nonprofit in Gaza that—surprise!—was allegedly funneling resources to Hamas[2][3]. Apparently, vetting where American taxpayer money goes is just too much work.

6. The Most Expensive Retirement Paperwork in America ($32M in a Cave)

Did you know that 700+ federal employees process retirement applications by hand, in a limestone cave, 230 feet underground in Pennsylvania[2]? And that the entire system grinds to a halt if the one and only elevator breaks down?

This $32 million-a-year operation could be automated for $1.2 million, but instead, we’re funding a real-life bureaucratic version of The Flintstones.

7. A DEI Musical? Really? ($70K in Ireland)

Some lucky bureaucrat in USAID thought it was absolutely necessary to fund a $70,000 “DEI musical” in Ireland[1][4]. What does a diversity-themed musical have to do with foreign aid? Great question. USAID isn’t answering it.

8. Abortion Advocacy Masquerading as Health Aid ($1.34B Rerouted)

USAID diverted over $1.34 billion from HIV/AIDS relief programs into abortion advocacy initiatives—including $8.9 million to International Planned Parenthood Federation[3]. Congress literally banned PEPFAR (the President’s Emergency Plan for AIDS Relief) funds from being used for abortions, but USAID just played word games to work around the rules[3][4].

9. Migrants Get Luxury Hotels, You Get the Bill ($59.3M in NYC)

FEMA (which partners with USAID) spent $59.3 million on New York City luxury hotels for illegal immigrants[2][5]. Of that, $19 million went to premium hotels like the Roosevelt, with the rest covering gourmet meals, private security, and “cultural orientation services.”

Meanwhile, Americans displaced by natural disasters get… well, not that.

10. USAID’s $7B Climate Slush Fund

Nothing screams "wise investment" like dumping $7 billion into a "climate resilience" fund that bypassed competitive bidding[2][4]. DOGE auditors described this as “gold bars tossed off the Titanic” levels of efficiency.

11. EcoHealth Alliance Still Getting Paid ($12M for Bat People)

Despite congressional bans, USAID still found a way to funnel $12 million to EcoHealth Alliance—the same group tied to the Wuhan lab and gain-of-function research[1][4].

At this point, funding EcoHealth is like hiring the arsonist to run your fire department.

Time to Shut the ATM Down

If USAID were a private company, it would’ve been sued out of existence decades ago. Instead, it continues operating as an unaccountable slush fund for bureaucrats, activists, and even warlords.

DOGE has recommended the following:

1. Shut it down and start over – USAID needs to justify every dollar or get the axe.
2. Blockchain tracking for aid money – No more “oops, we accidentally funded terrorists.”
3. Ban ideological pet projects – No more DEI musicals, transgender comic books, or poppy fields for the Taliban.

Or, as Trump put it in his 2025 State of the Union:

“Global leadership requires not just open wallets, but open eyes.”

USAID has had the wallet. It’s time we forced it to open its eyes.

This report reflects findings available as of February 19, 2025. Ongoing investigations may reveal even more absurdity.

Citations:

[1] https://www.whitehouse.gov/fact-sheets/2025/02/at-usaid-waste-and-abuse-runs-deep/
[2] https://www.foxnews.com/politics/wasteful-dangerous-doges-top-5-most-shocking-revelations
[3] https://dailycitizen.focusonthefamily.com/closing-usaid-isnt-crazy-heres-why/
[4] https://www.cgdev.org/blog/white-house-demonstrates-usaids-efficiency
[5] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GFIS2RR8ivU