Castle Bank & Trust Company T-Shirt
£19.00 - £26.00
Welcome to Castle Bank & Trust Company: the Bahamas branch of America’s shadow government. Founded by OSS spook Paul Helliwell, Castle was no ordinary bank. It was the offshore vault for Presidents, CIA bagmen, mobsters, LSD profiteers, and America’s wealthiest dynasties.
Richard Nixon’s plumbers? Funded. George H.W. Bush’s crowd? All in. Robert Vesco the fugitive financier? Of course. Mob dons, coke barons, and CIA “freedom fighters”? Preferred clients. Billy Mellon Hitchcock? He funneled Brotherhood of Eternal Love acid money through Castle like it was just another savings account. Even the Pritzkers parked their fortune offshore here. Yes, the same Pritzker clan now running Illinois and sitting in presidential cabinets.
Castle’s accounts touched Watergate slush funds, anti-Castro ops, and possibly even LSD distribution in the 1960s. Created as part of the CIA's off-books financial infrastructure, it was a black ops laundromat. A sunny place for shady money. And when the FBI’s Operation Tradewinds started asking questions, the whole thing was shut down before it could blow wide open and the IRS cases were all closed at the behest of the agency. Plausible deniability, after all, was always a good investment.
Oh, and Paul Helliwell? Well, after Castle was folded, he just went on to get hired by Walt Disney so that he and CIA founder "Wild Bill" Donovon could use the same strategies to build Disney World.
This tee celebrates the crossroads where the CIA, mobsters, acid chemists, and political dynasties all kept their receipts. Castle Bank was less a financial institution and more a laundromat for the American empire. Wear it like company swag from the dirtiest corporation that ever set up shop in the Bahamas.
• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)
• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz./yd.² (142 g/m²)
• Pre-shrunk fabric
• Side-seamed construction
• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping
• Printed in the USA
Size guide
| LENGTH (inches) | WIDTH (inches) | CHEST (inches) | |
| XS | 27 | 16 ½ | 31-34 |
| S | 28 | 18 | 34-37 |
| M | 29 | 20 | 38-41 |
| L | 30 | 22 | 42-45 |
| XL | 31 | 24 | 46-49 |
| 2XL | 32 | 26 | 50-53 |
| 3XL | 33 | 28 | 54-57 |
| 4XL | 34 | 30 | 58-61 |
| LENGTH (cm) | WIDTH (cm) | CHEST (cm) | |
| XS | 68.6 | 42 | 78.7-86.4 |
| S | 71.1 | 45.7 | 86.4-94 |
| M | 73.7 | 50.8 | 96.5-104.1 |
| L | 76.2 | 55.9 | 106.7-114.3 |
| XL | 78.7 | 61 | 116.8-124.5 |
| 2XL | 81.3 | 66 | 127-134.6 |
| 3XL | 83.8 | 71.1 | 137.2-144.8 |
| 4XL | 86.4 | 76.2 | 147.3-155 |
Collections: Everyone Hates Oligarchs, Funny T-Shirts | Political Humor | Satire & Parody, Men's Apparel and Accessories, Men's Tops | Graphic Tees for Rebels & Liberty Lovers, New Arrivals, New Shirts | New Arrivals from Liberty Maniacs, The Company Store: Covert Ops, Spy Agencies, and Black Projects, World Globobozo Forum
Type: Mens Top
Category: bahamas, banksters, black ops, castle bank, cia front, cia history, cold war, covert ops, george hw bush, Intelligence Community, liberty maniacs, lsd, mob history, money laundering, nixon scandal, offshore bank, oligarchy, political satire, pritzker, watergate
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