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Abolish the FBI Parody T-Shirt

The Federal Bureau of Investigations has a storied past. Or should we say sordid past? Since the days when FBI Queen bee himself J. Edgar Hoover used his authority to blackmail everyone from presidents and civil rights heroes, to the ham-fisted bumbling of James Comey in 2016, the covering up of Hunter Biden's laptop in 2020, raiding Trump's home in 2022, the FBI's been the source of extra-constitutional mayhem since inception. Even since its inception, Woodrow Wilson used the FBI to spy and intimidate US Citizens opposed to the disastrous First World War - which was completely their natural right to oppose. 

Here's just a short, woefully incomplete list of some of the FBI's greatest hits. We'll try and keep it up to day. But something new comes up all the time:

COINTELPRO, harassing Martin Luther King Jr., thwarting terrorist plots they planned, thwarting more of their own terrorist plots, and again, Hey look! more terrorist plots, aaaannnd another; prostituting informants, doing the bulk domestic surveillance dirty work for the NSA, bully tech companies to share user data, unconstitutional warrantless wiretapping since the 1920s, spying on Marilyn Monroe, spying on John Lennon, and even Charlie Chaplin, made the lists and rounded up citizens then placed them in the infamous Japanese internment camps, harassing whistleblowers attempting to uncover corruption and government illegality, threatening whistleblowers outright, paying off gangsters, knowingly letting people get convicted of murder and then putting the taxpayers on the hook for $100 million when they got caught, they even edit their own Wikipedia articles to be favorable; illegally arrested and detained Americans until they could prove they registered for the draft, were at the heart of The Teapot Dome scandal in the 1920s, which made Watergate look like child play, actually destroying Watergate files, knowingly continue flawed forensics resulting in untold thousands of false convictions, gave immunity to Hillary Clinton's aides and agreed to destroy their computers until the investigating agents refused, and finally the FBI encouraged and oversaw the first ISIS terrorist attack on U.S. soil.

A premium, lightweight, 100% ringspun cotton crew neck t-shirt made with a smooth 30 singles jersey knit that makes for an exceedingly soft, beautiful canvas for t-shirt art. We also print our shirts with the best state-of-the-art printers in the world and ship them directly to you. 

• 100% ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)
• Baby-knit jersey
• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping
• Cover stitched and hemmed sleeves
• Side-seamed

Size guide

  S M L XL 2XL 3XL 4XL
Length (inches) 28 29 30 31 32 33 34
Width (inches) 18 20 22 24 26 28 30

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