I Identify as a Komatsu D355A Killdozer
$25.00 - $30.00
This mug isn’t here to hold coffee. It’s here to hold the line.
Live your truth. Drink accordingly.
• Ceramic
• 11 oz mug dimensions: height 3.85" (9.8 cm), diameter 3.35" (8.5 cm)
• 15 oz mug dimensions: height 4.7" (12 cm), diameter 3.35" (8.5 cm)
• Lead and BPA-free material
• Glossy finish
• Dishwasher and microwave safe
❓Why do you identify as a bulldozer?
Because I’ve evolved beyond the limitations of flesh and bureaucracy. My truest form is armored, diesel-fueled, and emotionally unavailable. I am not “sir.” I am not “ma’am.”
I am machinery.
❓But you’re clearly a human?
That’s hate speech.
❓Is this a phase?
Yes. A hydraulic phase. With a 12-cylinder turbo-diesel engine and reinforced plating. You may call it delusional. I call it liberated.
❓What do your friends and family think?
They’ve been instructed to refer to me as D355A in all communications. My mother refuses, which is why she no longer has a shed.
❓What bathroom do you use?
Whichever one I crash through.
❓How do you feel?
Heavy. Purposeful. Unstoppable.
I wake up each morning with the deep, mechanical certainty that I was built to clear obstacles—both physical and ideological.
❓Is this a joke?
Only if reality is.
❓Do you expect others to affirm this identity?
Absolutely.
Failure to do so is erasure.
Also, maybe manslaughter, depending on what gear I’m in.
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Type: Mugs
Category: bulldozer, bulldozer parody, coffee, diesel pride, funny, gifts, heavy equipment meme, humor, i identify as, i identify as a, identity politics parody, killdozer merch, komatsu, komatsu d355a, libertarian, libertarian gifts, Liberty Maniacs, marvin heemeyer, mug
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