The choice is clear. They're all bad choices. Bite down on the steaming-hot reality that your ideal candidate has about as much chance of winning the White House as Joe Biden does remembering where he was yesterday.
Let's be honest, folks, years of settling for the lesser of two evils have led us to this point. You're stuck between a brash, debt-loving showman whom the establishment will stop at nothing to defeat, and a stumbling puppet who's kept afloat by a cocktail of stimulants, media bias, and a teleprompter.
This isn't the ideal scenario, but it's the hand we've been dealt. Life isn't perfect, and if it were, you wouldn't be making this decision - you'd be sipping a cocktail on your private island and reading fan tweets about how you're the greatest rock star that ever lived.
So, take a deep breath, grit your teeth, and make your choice. Vote for the wild card, the establishment pick, or write in your cat's name for all it matters. Either way, there's going to be a hell of an aftertaste.
• 100% ring-spun cotton
• Sport Grey is 90% ring-spun cotton, 10% polyester
• Dark Heather is 65% polyester, 35% cotton
• 4.5 oz/yd² (153 g/m²)
• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping
• Quarter-turned to avoid crease down the center
Size guide
LENGTH (inches) | WIDTH (inches) | |
S | 28 | 18 |
M | 29 | 20 |
L | 30 | 22 |
XL | 31 | 24 |
2XL | 32 | 26 |
3XL | 33 | 28 |
LENGTH (cm) | WIDTH (cm) | |
S | 71.1 | 45.7 |
M | 73.7 | 50.8 |
L | 76.2 | 55.9 |
XL | 78.7 | 61 |
2XL | 81.3 | 66 |
3XL | 83.8 | 71.1 |
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Type: Mens Top
Category: 2024, 2024 election, campaign, candidate, funny, giant douche, parody, satire, t-shirt